Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Plug Life!

Get over here private!
I’ve handpicked you for a special assignment because I like you. You remind me of me. And I like me.
You and I are going to do something we should’ve done before this whole d*** war began! We’re going to take out those Robots when they least expect it!
Tonight, at 0100 we’re going to sneak into their base camp and find the “Master Plug.”

Wh-what’s the “Master Plug” Sarge?

Quiet Private! You want them to hear us talking about their “Master Plug?!” From here on in we refer to it as “Master P”

I’m sorry Sarge.

Put your sorries in a sack private.
“Master P” is the robot army’s one exploitable weakness and you and I are the men who are going to exploit it.

I’m a woman sir.

Oh…my sincere apologies Private. I can no longer see that well.
To be honest, that’s why I called you here today.


I need you to help me sneak into the Robot camp and locate “Master P.”

Is that all sir?

Why would that be all private?! Don’t be an idiot!
…I’m sorry for yelling.

It’s fine. Go on sir.

Really, I apologize.

I know. Please continue.

After you’ve helped me locate “Master P,” I’ll need you to take my arm and thrust my butter knife wielding hand deep into one of “Master P’s” open sockets. This will cause “Master P” to explode along with all of the robots who thought they’d live to rebel another day! We’ll win this 300 year-old war in seconds!

Oh yeah, and after the explosion I’ll need you to carry my body back here for a hero’s burial.

…Are you still there private? I can’t see well, remember?


This magnet is available at Robot House Party. The description is the one they wrote with the listing - I'm not that good of a writer.

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